My cry for solitude and the search for erotic intimacy

One of my favorite hiking trails in the Angeles National Forest; I don't get there often enough.

Having a household of up to ten people living here for the past several months has made me long for quiet and solitude–it’s been a tremendous challenge writing in the erotic romance genre.

But if I had solitude, I’d likely only be happy with it for a short time.

Noise is all around me but, sadly, that’s the life in most Southern California neighborhoods. From leaf blowers to constant construction going on with the small house next door, to trucks buzzing along the golf course behind our house, police helicopters and tantrums in our house from now adult children who are passive aggressive and have oppositional defiant disorder. Damn, it’s hard to create.

So I do I handle the stress?

One way is making my voice being heard. I went next door and politely asked the people how much longer they think the construction will last. They gave me a polite answer. I explained the situation and said my study is only 15 feet to 20 feet from where they’ve been working.

And then I think of the blessings and the joy of having two erotic romance stories on the market, one more ready to enter editing, three short stories that will likely be accepted in August for an anthology with Cleis Press, two wonderful editors who have given me wonderful feedback on my work and writers who visit my site here or interact with me on Twitter and Facebook.

I’m thankful for being interviewed recently by Lisa Fox, Casey Sheridan offering Riding Shotgun as a giveaway, and comments left here by Savannah Chase to name just a few.

Writing is a discipline and so is contentment in the face of adversity. Thinking of the blessings and politely making one’s voice heard is helpful in dealing with the challenges.

How do you handle the stresses that rear up in your life? Leave your comment below and it could be a benefit to others.


About DD Symms

Writing is foundational to our communication like running is to sports.
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6 Responses to My cry for solitude and the search for erotic intimacy

  1. Stress…I hide from it, lol. I go to the gym, or head out to my garden and dig in the dirt. I write blogs about wine which means I need – NEED – to taste wine. Lots of wine. Happy wine! And every now and then, when necessary, I confront the main source of stress, lay it on out there as to what needs to change, and let the shit hit the fan. But that is rare for me. I’m lucky – I have two well-behaved young men living with us, and a hubby who adores me. I’ve got a lot to work on in my life, plus lots of books to write – so when the DO NOT DISTURB notice goes up I’m usually left alone.

    The best thing to remember is your life will not always house ten people, your neighbors will not always be under construction, and the great outdoors isn’t that far away. If you haven’t yet, hike a part of the backbone trail along the Santa Monica Mountains. I love the Newton Canyon trail – about 5 miles round trip and worth every step.

    But it sounds like you’re a pretty level headed guy, so I’m not too worried about you!

    • DD Symms says:

      Christine, thanks for the input. You’re right. Things are stabilizing. We like to hike, too. I’ll keep the Newton Canyon trail in mind. As far as the neighbor’s house, it’s had 3 owners in the last few years … I’ll be each owner has put in about $300,000 worth of labor.

  2. DD wow you are welcome…I am thrilled to show my support…Wow you have a full house… Stress is hard to deal with but sometimes you just have to take a break and do little things that will calm and re-charge you…We need to handle the stress as best as we can even when it gets bad. I try to take a break and tune out, if even for 30 minutes…

    • DD Symms says:

      Hi Savannah, yeah 🙂 it gets loud … I hesitate about writing anything too personal and yet challenges are universal. And once they’re shared, they lighten up!

  3. D Rotterman says:

    Luckily for me, nothing, and I mean nothing bothers me. When my son was teething, he would wake every hour on the hour. I started anticipating it, and wound up awake all night. Not a good thing when you’re building houses the next day. Within a month I was ragged. My best friend was learning to be an Acupuncturist and offered to jab needles in me for practice. He hit a spot in my forearm and I passed out. I’ve been able to sleep at will ever since. My son’s twenty six now. I’ve shared a house with him and his ex-college roomies for years, and could sleep while raves were going on.

    I feel sorry for the rest of you and recommend acupuncture to everyone suffering from insomnia or noise agitation.

    As far as writing goes, I get in the groove and nothing can get in. What a wonderful place. I wrote the last two books, eight hundred pages in three months. It took ten years to write the first one of two hundred pages until I figured out how to turn on the “zone” whenever I want. Now if I could figure out how to market…

    • DD Symms says:

      Hi D,

      sounds like you will figure out how to market. I do pretty well staying on course … it’s just that the quiet times are much appreciated. Wow, so your writing has really developed. I used to say, “the more I write, the more i want to write.” Always glad to have you stop by.

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