Love, eroticism, and sex in romance stories and real life

Our writing, like a photo, can lead the reader to see the love, eroticism, or sex

Love, eroticism and sex should be deeply interconnected in romance stories of all genres and heat levels – and in real life.

I’m pulling out the dictionary to see the similarities and differences between each. I heaved the Radom House Dictionary of the English Language to my dining table:

Love: the profoundly tender or passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex. (oops, not politically correct anymore)

Eroticism: the sexual or erotic quality or character of something (duh!)

Sex: the fact or character of being either male or female (brilliant, lol!)

Okay, let’s throw away these dictionary definitions and let me describe reasons for connecting love, eroticism, and sex in a novel or short story.

A quilt lay across my bed, crafted with different strands and colors of fabric, yet once woven, the diversity became one.

Love builds throughout a story and may not be realized until the end—the Happy Ever After or possibility of a happy ending.

Eroticism should build as well—giving hints of the hot sex to occur.

Sex can happen separately from love or eroticism but it’s not rewarding in and of itself. It’s “hot” when the characters discover themselves through their sexuality.

Isn’t the same in real life? A satisfying life finds a balance of the three at some level. It’s not expressed in the same way for each person or each couple, but within our relationships (whether friends, lovers, or spouse) we need love and it’s made much deeper when laced with the joy of eroticism and passion — whether that be sexual or an appreciation of the beauty around us.

Good authors, or great authors, weave love, eroticism and sex seamlessly in their stories. That’s what I’ll be looking for in the books I read and the standard I strive to achieve in the stories I write.

Also read my post I don’t like writing about sex.

Are there stories you’ve written or read where the three elements are expertly woven together? Go ahead and mention in the comments.

The photo credits go to Check out his work.


About DD Symms

Writing is foundational to our communication like running is to sports.
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4 Responses to Love, eroticism, and sex in romance stories and real life

  1. W. Lynn says:

    Striving for balance is admirable. I know often there is more of one than the others at times, but then again life goes in cycles. I really enjoyed the post. Thanks.

  2. One of my most favorite stories also happens to have all three of these elements. ‘Lost Souls’ by Poppy Z. Brite. In this story, Love is a given. Steve and his friend Ghost have known each other since they were about 14yrs. old. Steve’s love for Ghost is closer than a brother’s, though in the beginning of the story he’s not ‘in love’.
    Eroticism. Plenty of vampire eroticism here! Though I found Ghost to be a sensual, sexy man all by himself. 🙂
    Sex? The story ends without them indulging, but we know it’s only a matter of time.

    ‘we need love and it’s made much deeper when laced with the joy of eroticism and passion’ I agree completely! Loved this post. Thanks for sharing it.

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