Writing a character’s thought life

Exploring a character’s thoughts creates multi-dimensional stories and reveals the character’s emotions like jealousy or joy, rage or serenity.

However, too much focus on the thoughts and not seeing the outward actions can be an abstract journey and confusing. Too much action and not enough thoughts can be a superficial story, leaving the reader wanting to know who these characters are.

Getaway, my most recent erotic story, delves more deeply into the thought life of Marcie. She wants to getaway into the mountains but thoughts of her break-up with her fiancée haunt her and threaten to ruin her enjoyment of nature’s beauty.

Her conflict and erotic resolution with a neighboring camper resolves her troubles.

Here’s an excerpt:

Marcie sighed. Stephen’s behaviors were affected by more than Marilyn’s looks. Pulling up her shorts, she became aware that sifting her thoughts may never reveal precise answers; an emotional explosion had occurred and no amount of investigating would put her previous life back together. She pulled the tent out of its bag, stretched it on the ground and smoothed it flat. Waves of confusion and discouragement threatened to engulf her earlier moments of hope and enlightenment, but every time she decided to move forward the crushing weight she had felt grew lighter.

Suddenly, her neighbor jumped from his table, interrupting her introspection. He ran a hand across his chin, and then quickly sat back at his spot—all the while chattering like he was different characters—or worse, different personalities.

Unfortunately, the woods aren’t far enough from LA. She fastened the poles together and slid them through the openings and had her dome-shaped tent erect. Other campsites with no neighbors were available. Too much work to move. After the sleeping bag was pulled from the car and laid inside the tent, a break for lunch was in order. How fun to be on her own schedule, a day to do as she pleased, lazily nibbling on sushi from the cooler and uncorking the bottle of wine. She poured a glass and dipped a tuna roll in a puddle of soy sauce, completely satisfied with music made from wind stirring the pine branches. A picnic with Stephen, however, meant a box seat near the stage at the Hollywood Bowl and Marcie had dutifully purchased season tickets for each of the past three years. One year, Marilyn accompanied them with her date, wearing a gold necklace, a freshly pressed blouse and slacks. Her hair was styled so neatly that each strand had a defined setting. Enough. Marcie had taken constructive steps to move forward and recalling useless details would only set her back.

Capturing her thoughts and having her go through the action of setting up her campsite carried its own rewards. The story opens with her skinny dipping and enjoying the eroticism of exploring her own sexuality in a natural surrounding while fighting with her emotions of breaking off an engagement.

I trust you’ll find Getaway an enjoyable read and find a level of identification with Marcie.